Mirkwood — diavolofucker: diavolofucker: diavolofucker: ...

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“Hello! I’m Conor! I sell honey! You might remember me from my other sales post or maybe the one before it. I’m still at it! My mom and I have been running the family apiary for approaching our sixth...
diavolofucker

Hello! I’m Conor! I sell honey! You might remember me from my other sales post or maybe the one before it. I’m still at it! My mom and I have been running the family apiary for approaching our sixth year now. We had an unexpected (and fairly sizable) harvest a couple weeks ago, so I find myself with quite a bit of stock!

Let me reel up the usual spiel.

Who are you and how do i know you won’t mail me internet poison?

Well, I’ve been selling honey through tumblr and twitter for the past several years now. I also sell at cons on occasion and give away honey at many opportunities.

I have several return customers and many, many glowing reviews that I’m hoping will have people come out of the woodwork to say nice things about. One time we sent a gallon order out to Google HQ (it was to a good friend of mine (hi eco)) and my parents are still so thrilled over that sale, they tell it to everybody who listens.

Also, we won an award.

Look at that sweet, sweet award.

One of the biggest challenges to our sales has recently been eliminated - we would occasionally have packages break in the mail because we use glass jars and the USPS is trash. We switched to plastic bottles and have since yet to have a single problem with broken jars, so this isn’t likely to ever happen again.

WHY WOULD I BUY YOUR STUFF INSTEAD OF JUST GOING TO WALMART

Well!!! Most places don’t have dedicated honey stores, and supermarket honey is usually manufactured by buying honey by the gallon, mixing it all together, pasteurizing it for some reason and bottling it in ugly teddy bear bottles.

Our honey is straight from the bees - we filter it three times to get out dead bee parts and wax and stuff, and that’s the most treatment it will ever get. Honey never goes bad so we just keep it in resealable jars and such.

We’re also as close to organic apiarists as such a thing exists! We DO NOT treat our bees for anything whatsoever and we DO NOT feed them; they forage for themselves & fight off pests themselves.

(we also sell our stuff cheaper than wholesale)

Okay, okay, I get it. You’re legit. How much money do I have to throw at you and where?

THERE’s the question.

We have a lot of honey. We currently have in stock three different varieties - wildflower, which is primarily goldenrod and mexican clover; citrus, which is mostly orange blossom, and our most popular & award-winning variety, and “honey nut”, which is citrus and oak. Honey nut is a rare harvest because the local oak trees only bloom every six to eight years, and tastes incredible in my opinion.

All honey jars cost the same and are organized by the size of the jar they’re contained in!

cup (half-pint): $7.50

pint: $10

quart: $20

gallon (this is shipped in quarts): $60

We also sell cut comb! This time in two varieties - comb by the pound and (what we sold in the past) comb suspended in honey. Comb by the lb looks like this and comes in a sealed tupperware container. We don’t have a whole lot of comb so this may run out quickly.

1 lb of comb is $25.

comb in honey looks like this.

Half-pint “samplers”: $10

Pints: $15

Quarts: $25

WHAT’S THE CATCH?

Traditionally our big bottleneck on selling honey has been shipping costs. I’m happy to say that with our new bottles and some creative use of tape, we finally have something of an answer to this.

Shipping for orders 1 pint or under is $6. Shipping for orders under 1 gallon is $10. Shipping for orders over 1 gallon is $20. (cut comb by itself will always be $10; comb-in-honey follows these prices.)

We no longer ship outside of the US, sorry! The customs forms are hell and the cost is ridiculous - the last order to Canada we had totaled out to be like $58, just in shipping.

SO WHERE DO I SEND THIS $$$$$ TO?

send me an ask about order placements!!! I’ll tell you what you’ll total out to be and give you my paypal address. When you send me the payment, please give me your address alongside it, and I’ll have it out by the next business day.

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

I’m severely mentally ill (psychosis, possible schizophrenia) and not able to work a “normal” job. Beekeeping and selling honey has been my primary income for a couple years now and I really need all the help I can get. I love bees, and I love our product, and I want a lot of people to enjoy our honey.

diavolofucker

HI GUYS ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE THIS WAS BOOSTED… im running into money troubles and any honey sale feeds me for another day. i’d really appreciate it if the word could be put out again!

I updated this post with new prices and some nice news - we have a new variety of honey in stock (citrus + oak, everyone who tries it swears by it)! We also have cut comb for sale again, I had a few people request it when we were out and now’s your chance :^)

ALSO if you are local to me (live in the city of savannah) and want honey, I can waive shipping! I recently got a large amount of honey to my dorm and can just deliver it for the price of honey itself. Just talk to me in private and we can get that worked out.

diavolofucker

what’s up, i’m in really dire money straits (like i cant afford gas to get home and im evicted in 3 days) right now and my parents keep telling me to sell more honey instead of sending their mentally ill child actual funds so, if you can signal boost this, it’d be really cool